


Fifty Shades of Gruyere

by schittposting



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Cheese, Cooking, Domestic Fluff, F/F, Fluff and Smut, Food as a Metaphor for Love, Let Alexis Rose Eat, Porn with Feelings, Top Twyla Sands, mention of disordered eating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-21
Updated: 2021-01-21
Packaged: 2021-03-12 12:02:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28885065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/schittposting/pseuds/schittposting
Summary: Alexis and Twyla eat cheese and fuck.
Relationships: Alexis Rose/Twyla Sands
Comments: 15
Kudos: 35





	Fifty Shades of Gruyere

**Author's Note:**

  * For [doingthemost](https://archiveofourown.org/users/doingthemost/gifts).



> Happy National Cheese Lovers' Day!
> 
> Thank you to [doingthemost](https://archiveofourown.org/users/doingthemost/pseuds/doingthemost) and [singsongsung](https://archiveofourown.org/users/singsongsung/pseuds/singsongsung) for betaing and encouraging this, and to doingthemost for the inspiration and the title. 💖

“Babe, you serve food all day at work, you shouldn’t have to serve me when you get home!” Alexis says, following Twyla into the kitchen.

“I like serving you, though,” Twyla says with a crooked smile that tugs at Alexis’s heart. “At work I have to deal with whatever customers come in, whether I like them or not. At home, I get to put all my attention on you, because it makes me happy.”

Alexis can’t help but melt a little at that. She leans in for a brief kiss, but Twyla turns it into something deeper, putting her hands on Alexis’s hips and backing her up until she hits the counter, then leaning in until they’re pressed flush against each other. Alexis parts her legs a little and feels one of Twyla’s slip between them as Twyla’s mouth leaves hers to trail down her neck. 

Alexis is starting to really get into it, grinding a little on Twyla’s thigh, and a strangled noise escapes her lips when Twyla pulls away, flashing her a satisfied smirk. “Time to cook dinner,” she says.

“Ugh, Twy, you’re such a tease!” Alexis complains. Twyla’s looking in the fridge now, gathering ingredients, and Alexis comes up behind her and trails a finger down her back.

“That trick won’t work on me, Alexis,” Twyla says. “I know that one, remember?”

This is the problem, Alexis thinks, with dating someone who knows her so well. She never had this problem before coming to Schitt’s Creek, back in the days when she dated a string of boring rich guys who she could hold at arm’s length and manipulate into doing whatever she wanted. It’s different with Twyla. Different even than it was with Mutt or Ted, who she didn’t get to know before starting to date them. Twy is her best friend, and has been for years. Twy sees through her bullshit and loves her anyway.

Alexis rolls her eyes and retreats back to the counter, hopping up on it so she can hang and watch and be out of Twyla’s way as she puts together a plate from the cheese subscription box they got from Rose Apothecary. It was a really good idea her brother had, Alexis has to admit, to start doing a cheese club at the store, and she was impressed with how beautifully put together the box was when they got it. She shouldn’t have been surprised, though; she knows her brother prides himself on his taste and attention to detail. 

A box of crackers came with the cheese, and a little jar of pepper jelly, and Twyla puts together a cracker with a bite of the triple creme brie and a little dollop of jelly and holds it up to Alexis’s mouth. Alexis opens for her and can’t help but close her eyes and moan when the flavors hit her tongue.

“Mmm, Twy, this is so good.”

When Alexis opens her eyes she sees that Twyla hasn’t even tried it herself yet, but has instead been watching Alexis. “I love seeing you eat,” she says. “All those years of ordering nothing but smoothies and fruit cups at the cafe… it’s just good to see you enjoying your food.”

Alexis blushes and looks down at her hands. She knows she has a weird relationship with food, and one of the things she’s still getting used to about having a partner who knows her the way Twyla does is that Twyla sees this, notices it, and doesn’t judge her. It’s hard for her to let herself be seen like this, sometimes, but seeing how genuinely Twyla means it when she says she likes seeing Alexis eat? Well, it helps.

“Plus,” Twyla adds, “it’s pretty sexy.”

“Let me try the other ones, then.” Alexis tries to push down her embarrassment and use this to flirt with her girlfriend, fixing Twyla with a hot look.

“Coming right up,” Twyla raises an eyebrow in response, picking up Alexis’s flirty tone. She cuts a slice of the aged cheddar and puts it on a cracker, then turns to Alexis and traces a finger along her bottom lip until Alexis opens her mouth again, eyes meeting Twyla’s.

She closes her eyes again as she chews, giving herself over to the flavor of the sharp cheddar on her tongue. Knowing that Twyla’s watching, enjoying seeing her enjoy the taste, she really gets into it, not exaggerating her reactions so much as just letting them out in a way she usually doesn’t. She tilts her head back as she swallows and when she opens her eyes again, Twyla’s are on her throat. 

Twyla leans in and up, pressing a kiss to the base of her throat and then tracing a line down with her nose until she hits the neckline of Alexis’s dress. She kisses Alexis’s cleavage gently and Alexis can feel her face and chest start to heat up. Twyla looks up at her through her eyelashes and Alexis feels that heat go straight to her clit before Twyla turns away and starts loading another cracker with the Warner Farms blue cheese. She holds this one up just out of range of Alexis’s mouth, so that Alexis has to lean forward a bit to get it, to catch it. So that she has to work for it.

Twyla smiles, watching her again, before finally taking a taste for herself. “Ooh, this _is_ good.” 

Alexis thinks she understands why Twyla likes watching her eat, as she watches Twyla. It’s sensual, in a way, seeing someone really enjoying their food like that. She always thought eating was kind of gross, watching other people chew and swallow, but seeing Twyla do it? Well, she thinks maybe she gets it now.

Twyla keeps working on dinner, and Alexis keeps watching her from her perch on the counter, and every once in a while Twyla hands her another piece of cheese on a cracker, and Alexis feels cared for, like a pet, in a way. Not in a bad way, like with Michael Fassbender, who wanted to keep her in a cage that time, but like something precious that Twyla wants to take care of.

Eventually Twyla gets to a point where she’s just boiling water and occasionally stirring a pot of tomato sauce, and she comes over to Alexis’s spot on the counter and pulls Alexis’s face down and kisses her deeply. Twyla’s hand finds the back of Alexis’s head, near the nape of her neck, and her fingers bury themselves in Alexis’s hair there, and Twyla tugs gently, with just enough pressure to send shivers down Alexis’s spine. Twyla brings her mouth to Alexis’s ear. “Do you want to try the burrata now?”

Alexis almost laughs. She was expecting Twy to say something seductive, but she’s talking about cheese again. Except in the voice Twyla’s using, it _does_ sound kind of seductive. Alexis nods, feeling her cheek brush against Twyla’s.

Twyla gets the soft ball of white cheese out of the fridge and unwraps it, placing it in a bowl. She drizzles olive oil over it, dusts it with salt and pepper, and brings it over to Alexis with a spoon. She pierces the ball of burrata with the spoon and the creamy cheese inside spills out. She holds a spoonful up to Alexis’s mouth, and Alexis opens, and licks, and moans again at the delicious flavor. “Oh my god, Twy. This is fantastic.”

Twyla finally stops watching Alexis and takes a bite herself. “Oh, this is good. Even better than the brie, maybe.”

“More, please,” Alexis says, and Twyla laughs, low and throaty. She gets a spoonful of it, holds it out toward Alexis, but when Alexis leans forward to take it in her mouth, she pulls it away at the last minute and takes it in her own. “Hey!” Alexis says, indignant but laughing.

“I couldn’t help myself,” Twyla says, unabashed. She starts to get another bite on the spoon, then stops, puts it down, and scoops a little of the creamy cheese up with her first two fingers instead. She holds them up to Alexis’s mouth, raising an eyebrow. Alexis matches her look and opens her mouth for Twyla’s fingers, licking and sucking and relishing the delicious taste of the cheese just as much as she does the heat in Twyla’s eyes. She keeps moving her tongue on Twyla’s fingers after the cheese is gone, licking between them and sucking them deeper into her mouth. Twyla’s eyes get darker as Alexis slides her mouth off, dragging her lower lip over the pads of Twyla’s fingers as she does.

“Mmm, that was so good, Twy.” Twyla leans up on her toes to take Alexis’s mouth in a hungry kiss before taking a step backwards and returning to the now-boiling pot of water on the stove.

Twyla finishes cooking dinner as Alexis watches, appreciating how confident and competent she looks, how comfortable she is in a kitchen. Before long, Twyla drags Alexis over to the kitchen table and presents her with a bowl of thin spaghetti tossed with her buttery homemade tomato sauce and a dusting of the Tania sheep’s milk cheese that came in the Rose Apothecary cheese box. Alexis licks her lips, somehow still hungry even after all the little cheese nibblies Twyla fed her before.

“My great-aunt always said the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. I thought maybe it’d work, even though you’re not a man.” Twyla tilts her head to one side. “Though they say she poisoned her husband, so she may have meant that differently.”

“Well, that’s very dark, Twy, but I hope there’s no poison in this, because it looks delicious!”

The pasta _is_ delicious, possibly the best thing Alexis has ever eaten. “Oh my god, Twy, why don’t you serve this at the cafe?” she asks.

“I don’t know,” Twyla says, “I guess I just like to have something special. Something just for me and the people I love.”

Alexis’s breath hitches. They haven’t said that yet, _love_ , at least not in this context. Not since they started dating, but Alexis feels it, and she’s suspected for a while now that Twyla does too. She looks into Twyla’s eyes and smiles softly. “Thanks, Twy. I… I love it.” She’s not quite ready yet, to say it, but she thinks Twyla knows what she means.

They finish their pasta, alternating with bites of the burrata—with a spoon this time—until Alexis can’t eat another bite. She leans back in her chair and feels Twyla’s foot brush against her own under the table, and smiles at her. “That was delicious,” Alexis tells her. “I’m stuffed.”

“Sure you don’t have room for dessert?” Twyla asks with a suggestive grin.

Alexis smiles a little pursed-mouth smile. “Mmm,” she says. “I guess I might still have room. Should we go to the bedroom?” Alexis shimmies a little towards Twyla.

“Actually,” Twyla says, taking the dishes from the table and setting them in the sink for later, “I want you right here.” She takes Alexis’s hand and pulls her up to stand, then pushes at her hips until she’s sitting on the table. Twyla pushes Alexis’s knees apart and kisses her as she strokes up and down Alexis’s inner thighs. She buries a hand in Alexis’s hair and tugs as her kisses grow rougher, then pulls a little harder, tilting Alexis’s head back to give Twyla access to her neck so she can kiss and lick her way down it. 

Alexis shivers and parts her legs a little more on instinct, letting Twyla in, letting her take what she wants. Twyla’s hands find the zipper at the back of Alexis’s dress and start to unzip, letting it fall from Alexis’s shoulders and giving Twyla access to her breasts. Alexis doesn’t wear a bra with this dress, and she’s glad of that now, glad to give Twyla unrestricted access. Twyla traces a line down on one side with her tongue and on the other with her fingers, circling one nipple with each before sucking one into her mouth and giving the other a light pinch. Alexis lets out a little gasp at that, which encourages Twyla to do it again, a little harder this time.

Twyla’s hands have been inching higher on Alexis’s thighs, pushing her already-short skirt upwards, and Alexis is sighing at the light strokes on her thighs, until finally Twyla urges her with her hands to lift her hips so she can slip her underwear off. Alexis’s dress is bunched around her middle now, until Twyla starts pulling that off too, and Alexis lifts her arms and lets her do it, and then she’s naked on the kitchen table, and Twyla, still fully clothed, is looking at her like Alexis is her next meal, and for some reason the contrast between Twyla’s clothing and her lack of it makes her hot and flushed all over.

Twyla traces a finger down the center of Alexis’s body, from her collarbone, between her ribs, down her stomach to her belly button, to the ticklish spot on her lower abdomen, and lower, lower, until her finger hovers right above where Alexis wants it. Twyla looks at her, and Alexis nods, nearly whimpering.

“Tell me what you want,” Twyla says.

“Touch me, oh god, Twy, touch me,” Alexis practically begs.

“Where?” Twyla asks.

“You know where,” Alexis whines in frustration. “Come on, babe, just a little lower. _Please_.”

“Hmm, well since you asked so nicely,” Twyla says with a smirk, leaning in to kiss Alexis as she trails her finger down and slowly begins to circle Alexis’s clit.

Alexis is gasping into her mouth now, overwhelmed at this sensation that’s almost too much, but at the same time, not nearly enough. 

Twyla slips a finger inside Alexis, moving her thumb to Alexis’s clit, and Alexis moans in response. Twyla’s hands feel so good, make _her_ feel so good, and Alexis moves her hips in time with the gentle thrusts of Twyla’s finger, the rhythmic motions of her thumb.

Twyla adds another finger, starts going a little faster, applying a little more pressure to her clit, and Alexis bucks her hips involuntarily in response. Alexis can feel her pleasure mounting as Twyla brings her other hand back to Alexis’s nipple, playing with it, pinching and rubbing, as she drags Alexis’s lower lip between her teeth. Alexis moans, and Twyla rubs her clit a little harder in response, and pinches her nipple a little harder, and then Alexis is there, cresting the edge of her orgasm, her mouth breaking away from Twyla’s to cry out in pleasure. She holds on to Twyla, and Twyla moves the hand that was on her nipple to hold onto her, and Alexis lets herself be limp in Twyla’s arms, still shaking a little as Twyla rubs her gently through the aftershocks until Alexis puts a hand on Twyla’s to let her know to stop. Twyla holds Alexis, and they make out lazily as Alexis, sweaty and exhausted, starts to recover.

When Alexis has caught her breath, she looks up at Twyla with a satisfied smile. “Okay,” she says, “your turn.”

**Author's Note:**

> Come say hi on [tumblr](https://schittposting.tumblr.com)!


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